teachermomalcohollie

When you start to spin about what happened during the blackouts

There is peace in not knowing everything. If you’re meant to know, it will come to you. Your brain is very much like bubbles reaching the surface. Each bubble moves in its own time. Another bubble has to disappear for the surface to become calm for the next bubble to come up. Your brain willContinue reading “When you start to spin about what happened during the blackouts”

Why do I stay sober even though sometimes it feels like my life is not any better?

Someone asked this tonight as they got closer to their one year sober. And this is what I wrote… For just a second, play out the last year, if you had not stopped drinking. Play out where you would be if you hadn’t stopped. Would your life be worse or would it be better? BecauseContinue reading “Why do I stay sober even though sometimes it feels like my life is not any better?”

Messy beginnings

I think the thing no one talks about in getting sober is showing up when and how or kids need. I learned this weekend that being the mom they need is less about what I think should be happening and showing up for how it is happening. I even found myself worrying less about whatContinue reading “Messy beginnings”

I see you doing hard shit

I see you. Getting sober is not easy though there are so many who portray it as such. It is dirty and difficult. Some may have their skin presenting issues with breakouts like you haven’t seen since adolescence. Some of you may not be sleeping for shit and see posts of those who aren’t encounteringContinue reading “I see you doing hard shit”

Starting Out

Big alcohol and drinking culture minimize the impact alcohol has on our bodies. Minimize how hard it is to actually quit There is so much shame that we end up thinking we have to do it on our own because we think it is our problem. We think that it’s our fault our body becameContinue reading “Starting Out”

If you’re still searching for that substitute at the end of your day …

For my friends who are looking for an alternative to wine at the end of the day because they find that they really want that wine and nothing else seems to work … Spoiler Alert: You really still want something that helps you let go and check out. And your brain still thinks that isContinue reading “If you’re still searching for that substitute at the end of your day …”

Boredom in Sobriety

This feeling of monotony or boredom kind of changes when you stop looking for the chaos. And you get curious about why you like the chaos. Because when you see the end of your drinking outside of the time when you missed drinking, you see that it was frenetic. You work 40 to 50 hoursContinue reading “Boredom in Sobriety”

Flow

I have historically been the person who pushes to get thing done. Let’s stop talking about it and just fucking get it done. In the last 3 1/2 years, I have become the person who looks for flow. If I have to force it, I usually walk away from it. As I wrote about thisContinue reading “Flow”

Home base – I’m my own touchstone

One of the things I talked about in therapy tonight was looking back and holding past me with compassion. Holding the me that chose to drink instead of feel. Holding the me that was too afraid to touch into and experience the pain that led her to drink in the first place. To go backContinue reading “Home base – I’m my own touchstone”

It’s not worth it. Don’t do it.

So, now you l are a couple of weeks away from Christmas. The holidays have died down. Your stress level is not near as high. And out of nowhere you feel like you should drink. “It’s not a problem.”“I’m not overwhelmed or anxious.” “It matters how I feel going into a situation when I drink.” AndContinue reading “It’s not worth it. Don’t do it.”